The Boogeyman Comes Back
Working-Class Mr. Ahn's Unscheduled Visits to Dr. Yeon's Clinic continues...
Missed Part 1? Start here → PART 1
Warning: this post deals with some heavier psychological topics and dark fictional elements. Everything here is totally fictional.
Jumping Back Into the Deluluverse
J: Ah, let me jump back into the deluluverse hahaha.
"Also, while Si-eun does have a soft spot for Beomseok, how soft is Beomseok's heart for Si-eun?"
I asked myself this exact question when building a brick in a corner of the deluluverse. From here on, I'm just talking about one brick, so you don't have to put it in your cauldron for the dark arc if you don't want to — think of it as just one brick lying around your vast and creative dark arc, okay?
During the holiday, I rewatched S2 E7 with a headache. I rewatched the scene where Si-eun lets go of Beomseok's hand and gets up on that pitch-black boxing ring. In Director Yoo's interview, he said Beomseok would be repentant in the Philippines and doing well even just to pay for Suho's hospital bills, so I figured that sequence just visualised Si-eun's guilt. This warm kid thinks it's ultimately because he "chose to get close" that both Suho and Beomseok ended up this way. I never saw Si-eun as a kid with high self-esteem — even in this incident, he sees himself as the "original sin."
If given the chance, I really want to hear Director Yoo's commentary on why Beomseok looked at Si-eun so coldly in that dream saying "I didn't say that to hear you're sorry to me, did I?"
I Understand You
J: But watching that sequence, my personal delulu interpretation is... Si-eun still sees Beomseok as another self, an emotional twin, right? In the original, he says "I understand you" and ultimately doesn't punch Oh Beom in the face — that means he understands Oh Beom's family and social environment, just as unhappy and gloomy as his own, but in my delulu interpretation, I saw it as "I understand that you love Suho as much as I do."
Si-eun instinctively understands that heart that loves Suho too much — that same intensity of feeling. But like you said, Oh Beom is a kid who "needs to be understood on his own terms that he matters to Suho," so while they both love Suho the same, they completely diverge in expecting to have that love returned by Suho.
Anyway, in terms of deep affection for Suho being the same, I always thought this harmless potato Si-eun's soft spot for Oh Beom would be exactly that point. And as the first friend he ever made in his life, even if it's a different quality from what he feels for Suho — or a different texture — Beomseok is also Si-eun's first love, and I think he has affection for him because they're so similar. People naturally yearn for someone who can fully understand their emotions and instinctively feel attraction.
But the one who always matters is Oh Beom hahaha.
Yeah, looking at just the original, I think Oh Beom liked Si-eun too. Of course, it can't compare to the love, admiration, and obsession this pitiful kid felt for Suho, but after the three became close, Si-eun was always warm to Beomseok, treated him as a friend, worried about him — this sensitive kid wouldn't not notice. Especially when Si-eun said "It's not your fault, you didn't do anything wrong" — Oh Beom clearly choked up, and even in the script book it says "Beomseok chokes up at Si-eun's words."
Before, one subscriber said — when Si-eun was getting hit in the arm by Young-bin and Oh Beom pathetically fled that scene — that subscriber interpreted it as "he couldn't keep watching that scene that reminded him of his father's violence, so he left." But regardless, I saw that scene as perfectly portraying the rock-bottom self-esteem that the character Oh Beomseok has. Hong Kyung really nailed that very teenage-boy-like acting of not being able to abandon those bully friends even though he knows they don't genuinely care about him.
Oh Beom at the Yellow Streetlight
J: So on that summer night with drizzling rain when reunited Suho and Si-eun return to Suho's two-story house, when Oh Beom waits under the yellow streetlight, he's still restless with that hard-to-shake guilt toward Suho, running a hundred simulations of how Suho will react seeing him after 13 years, his mind entirely occupied with Suho.
Then when he reveals himself relying on the streetlight, Suho's reaction — "protecting Si-eun and going into the house" — this reaction not in any simulation makes the guilt and remorse that just moments ago filled his heart and mind suddenly vanish. The boogeyman that never died but stayed alive in this kid's heart starts crawling out again, whispering bleakly in Beomseok's ear:
"Look at that bastard... The wealth he quickly built after waking from the coma... The privileges he's enjoying... It's all the pumpkin carriage you made for him... He knows, doesn't he? He's just pretending not to know... Ungrateful bastard... Without your help, could that little shit be living this happily and comfortably?"
"That bastard still looks down on you, thinks you're a lackey, despises you, doesn't think you matter even as much as the dirt under his fingernails. Oh Beomseok, no matter how successful you become, it doesn't matter. Suho won't change."
The boogeyman would buzz in Oh Beom's ear, raising its voice with these audacious accusations. And then, suppressing the guilt toward Suho, that boogeyman grows bigger and bigger inside Oh Beom... until Beomseok goes to find the Yeon Clinic... as a 5 PM Friday appointment patient...
Still, coexisting in Oh Beom's complex heart would be uncontrollable love and obsession for Suho. He rationally knows more than enough that he committed an unforgivable sin, but he's also "disappointed" by the cold reaction Suho showed after their reunion and how he protected Si-eun — isn't that Oh Beom too? Even while knowing his own disappointment is absurd.
So if Oh Beom, stepping on these ambivalent feelings, becomes disappointed and indignant again, it wouldn't stem from Si-eun at all, but solely, as always, from "Suho." So like you said before, to kick "acknowledgement" into Suho's skull, he'd intentionally approach Si-eun.
In this brick, Oh Beom has no personal jealousy or hatred toward Si-eun — rather, he still likes Si-eun as a friend when recalling their school days. But when his heart wavers regarding Suho, even that Si-eun can be sufficiently "used" as a tool — the boogeyman inside Beomseok runs so rampant that even Oh Beom himself can't help it.
I Think It'll End in Attempt
J: And on the other hand, I think for over 10 years, looking at photos his personal secretary took of Si-eun together with Suho, he'd have been fixated on various fantasies. Looking at Si-eun with Suho's arm affectionately around his shoulder and superimposing his own face, or seeing secretly-taken photos of the two embracing in Suho's two-story house and inserting himself in place of Si-eun being held by Suho...
So if he approaches Si-eun as a patient or goes further to gently (?) kidnap him, making Suho search desperately, or attempts something physical with Si-eun — asking Si-eun to hug him, stimulating Si-eun's soft spot, provoking Si-eun's insecurities — I think it would ultimately be to provoke or infuriate Suho. So the boogeyman inside Oh Beom starts with Suho and reacts to everything because of Suho — it's one of Oh Beom's darkest instincts.
You can't say Si-eun is his soft spot, but as much as he likes Si-eun, he can use him as a tool to provoke Suho, yet ultimately can't do anything truly terrible to him — Oh Beom can't. I think it'll end in attempt.
Wow, this got incredibly long! Hope you really relax with a cocktail or glass of wine you like. As always, no pressure for a quick reply! On my way home from work, I'll stop by the library to borrow Song of Achilles. (I confirmed the library has the Korean translation.)
Yours, Jen.
P.S. — Si-eun-ah, I'm Still Hurting
J: P.S. I forgot to write this...
In a corner of this brick, this image of Oh Beom also flashed through — Beomseok acting like an immature child, being clingy toward Si-eun...
"Si-eun-ah, I'm still hurting... I'm unhappy... I wish you'd heal me... You're a doctor, you can do it, right...?"
Beomseok drunk out of his mind, pulling Si-eun's shoulder into an embrace, whining like a completely soaked towel — could that delicate Si-eun push him away? hmmmmmm.
Tell Me About Suho
J: Friend, on the train ride home I developed Oh Beom's feelings toward Si-eun a bit deeper (the train has basically become my thinking space now, hahahaha).
Before, you said something like "Jennie, you're a destroyer of boys' love" and I laughed so hard hahaha. Remember when I talked about how Oh Beom would love to tightly hug Si-eun's body that has Suho's vanilla notes and inhale those remnants?
Same context here — without Suho or Si-eun realising it, they become soulmates sharing souls, so while they don't consciously notice it, they'd be incredibly similar... Si-eun wouldn't mimic Suho's playfully flighty way of speaking, but I think one reason Si-eun's social skills improved so much is because he unknowingly came to resemble Suho and "learned" from him too.
When Oh Beom becomes the Friday 5 PM patient and goes to find Si-eun at the Yeon Clinic, it's initially to provoke Suho out of that absurd disappointment. But once he's actually sitting face-to-face with Si-eun, talking about this and that as doctor and patient, in Si-eun's behaviour, speech patterns, expressions... every little gesture, wouldn't he see Suho's "face" overlapping?
The boogeyman inside Oh Beom wouldn't be running rampant 24/7... Fundamentally, Oh Beom's feelings toward Suho are based on love-hate, but looking at Si-eun and seeing Suho's image, his heart would melt momentarily.
One day, invited to Beomseok's house, the two get thoroughly drunk, lying side by side in bed, looking at stars through the floor-to-ceiling windows of Beomseok's spacious high-ceilinged bedroom, I think Oh Beom would say this:
"Si-eun-ah... tell me about Suho. Anything's fine."
Normally he'd be sparing with words, but drunk Si-eun isn't oblivious that Oh Beom loves Suho as much as he does, so with his mind loosened, he'd murmur on... The guppy-like cluelessness of not understanding how to use a defibrillator no matter how many times he's taught, or the innocent belief that he thinks Si-eun doesn't know when he's pretending to sleep... or despite his build, how he lets out sexy moans when you gently rub his nipples...
Hearing these small, detailed episodes about Suho, I think Beomseok would be genuinely smiling...
So, because Si-eun is closest to Suho and shares his soul, feeling Si-eun as Suho-like continues good feelings. Like if Suho is the cold dad, then Si-eun is Suho's mom version, you know — having a soft spot for him, being lenient with him... And already knowing well that Si-eun is weak when it comes to Beom, even the boogeyman inside Oh Beom wouldn't incite bad feelings toward Si-eun.
Jen.
When I Slap Him in My Mind
Asuka: Thanks Jennie for your consultation!
Wow wow wow, you have given me a heaping plate of ingredients more colourful than Suho's deep dish of toys. Thanks to another department's screw up, there were extensive technical delays backstage today, so I had three hours to savour your cooking. I always try to read things with a frown. Smiling attracts nosy colleagues who come by and ask me what I am looking at. But it is difficult not to smile at your work.
You've painted a very nuanced, rounded portrait of Beomseok, which he deserves. It prevents him from becoming a stock antagonist. Oh Beom is so gorgeously rendered in 3D now, when I slap him in my mind I can actually hear the sound of my mental palm bruising his delicate face. From how he uses Si-eun but can't bring himself to harm him; how he lies in bed with Si-eun not as lovers, but as friends, as what they were; how he yearns for Si-eun's stories of Suho, piecing an imaginary life together with him through these scraps hard won by subterfuge: yours is a more tender Oh Beom than how he has been flatly villainized by many viewers, and I love it so much. I found the filmverse Beomseok to be such a sensitive kid, probably the most sensitive of the three, but so full of doubt and not in control of his violent impulses fostered by abuse.
Even his premeditated tweaking of Suho's bike was pushed along by a torrent of emotion. It wasn't coldly planned out, psychopathic and unempathetic. If that had caused Suho to die, I think he would have screamed his lungs out and urged Si-eun to end him, failing which he would have self-harmed.
My conservative friend never got why he cried "I don't know why I did it." But that statement is Beomseok at his essence, is it not? Confused, conflicted, hurting, obsessively loving, obsessively hating. How could his gentle self, despised into submission every day by the true monster in his household, ever have had the strength to keep his messed-up heart in check? His boogeyman having satiated himself, Beomseok's shy, torn mind pieces itself back together unsteadily. Wasn't it metaphorically perfect that this closeted boy hid himself in one, where he curled up and thought of nothing else but the one he hated and loved? Your characterization brings this version of Oh Beom to cruel life. I have elevated the stock of the miyeok-guk with your precious spices.
Damned If He Does
Asuka: One unpleasant aside: I read with much displeasure some news that Hyunwook is yet again the target of public attacks. Nearly snapped my work pencil in half. He's been accused of lobbing a ball too quickly past a child at some ceremonial throw. And right on cue, the public performs a wild dance of outrage.
Ah, so he should not have pitched it so strongly at a baseball event, I see. And suppose he lobbed the ball too weakly? What if it flopped to the ground impotently? Wouldn't he have been accused of 'disrespecting the stadium'? Damned if he does, damned if he doesn't. Give him a break! Ugh…
On a much happier note, many thanks for the two pictures: a Melona-flavored kiss, and an aggressive Si-eun. They resonated with me at a fundamental level. It's proof we are all swimming gleefully in the same pool of delusion when we sleep.
Yours, Asuka, off work at last.
Who is Jennie? Bricklayer. Local correspondent for the Yeon Clinic deluluverse. A sous chef who checks whether the soup actually tastes like Seoul. A specialist who designs this kitchen to hold more than Suho's coma — philosophy, history, society, culture, stacked one recipe at a time.
Who is Asuka? Head nurse and main chef of the Yeon Clinic. A Scheherazade who sings the Song of Achilles she found shelved next to a book on Zen Buddhist masters. Fluent in several languages, conversant in single malts and the precise emotional damage of Weak Hero Class 1. Signs off as ASL. (Always starch linen.)
This free ebook will ruin you. In the best way. A character analysis of Si-eun, Su-ho and Beom-seok that goes beyond what subtitles can carry. Take it — it's free → DOWNLOAD HERE
This post was originally published on Jennie's blog in the autumn of 2025. The original blog has since moved to Blogger due to hosting changes — welcome to the new home.
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